Herobrine gets a Job

Herobrine walked into the office, nervous about his interview. It was his dream job, working at the Iron Golem factory that his brother had once worked at. His brother, Notch, became Head Supervisor of the factory until he became rich with Mindcrap. Dumb Mindcrap. The secretary sent Herobrine in after a few minutes of waiting, but Herobrine had to take a dump, so he we went to the bathroom. After taking care of business, he walked into the manager's dull office.

"Come, sit," said Mr. Florin, the Manager of the factory. 3 metres tall, this Zombie Pigman in a suit was all business.

"Sorry sir, but I just went to the toilet, and I'm a sworn celibate." Herobrine was shocked at the request Mr. Cash had made, and was beginning to have second thoughts on getting the job.

"No, no, that isn't what I meant, young boy." Mr. Florin thought that Herobrine was kinda cute. "So, where were you born, Mr. Persson?"

""I was born 2 years ago. For 1 years I've ruled as Mindcrap's ghost. But for all these years I have never been the ruler of my own dreams. I have seen the Gates of The Nether, beyond which no waking eye may see. Now, I just want to work a decent job, instead of being a popular symbol of the thing I hate most."

"You didn't answer my question," Mr. Florin replied, "Where were you born?"

"World 1, duh.  You aren't to bright are you?" Herobrine began to bore of this interview, and his mind turned to darker thoughts. He thought of Mr. Florin, in a room, naked and chained to a fence. Herobrine dreamed of whipping Mr. Florin into submission, and then his lips on Florin's, and his.....

"HEROBRINE," Mr. Florin screamed, "I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" Herobrine snapped out of his daydream, but Florin's dreamy, golden eyes sent him back to Fantasyland. "Very well, you leave me no choice!" Mr. Florin did something so horrible, so ugly, so demeaning to the human race that Herobrine woke up instantly.

Mr. Florin whispered into Herobrine's ear:

"You got the job."

Herobrine was shocked. Most factory managers discriminated against workers who were ghosts, and yet he still got the job.

"When do I start?" Herobrine asked, unsure of what to do next. He had never gotten this far since the BroCraft stream.

"Right now," Mr. Florin said, "But first; I have a different type of job for you, I want you to polish my war spear." Mr. Florin had a HUGE war spear, and it could take him all night just to polish it.

"How could I ever do such a task," Herobrine inquired.

"Use your hands, use your hands. And a little spit won't hurt, either."

The next day, Herobrine was on his way to his first day of work, when a beggar walked up to Herobrine and asked for some spare emeralds. Herobrine thought that the beggar looked familiar, and then realized it was his brother, Notch.

"Notch, what happened?"

Notch looked at Herobrine with sad eyes. "I sold Mojang, and without any substantial source of income, I fell into poverty." Notch was just wearing some rags, so Herobrine took pity, and gave Notch a single emerald, and went off to work. It was a long and hard job, but rewarding, he made 5 emeralds an hour, and he bought himself a hot dog to celebrate a successful day at work. Notch tried to take his hot dog, but Herobrine dodged him with ease, and ran into the first building he saw, the Red Rocket Daycare Centre.

3 days later, Herobrine was arrested for trespassing, armed robbery with a hot dog, and other things. Luckily, he ended up in a cell with Mr. Florin, who was arrested after it was learned that he had been selling dysfunctional Iron Golem legs.

They lived happily foreverafter, the end.